• EV

Pair your Wine with your Favorite Trash

Updated: Apr 29

In its earliest stages, isolation inspired us to try new things. Whether it was baking, picking up a new hobby, or exercising to stay sane, the first quarter of quarantine motivated the public to stay active. But as we shifted further into 2020, and it became clear that the virus would be sticking around, most of us dropped the act and returned to our usual routine.

If you’re anything like me, you love to hate-watch reality TV. It’s entertaining, the story is easy to follow, and the content usually makes you feel better about your own life. My once bad habit has nose-dived into a full-fledged addiction the longer I quarantine. I can’t get enough of the makeovers, the lives of the rich and famous, and those desperately trying to find love on national TV.

Since watching these shows is much more bearable when alcohol is involved, I’ve carefully curated a list of the best wines to sip on when giving in to temptation.

The Real Housewives Franchise and Prosecco

Let’s cut to the chase. We watch the Housewives franchise because it’s messy. The women on this show continuously engage in mean girl-Esque drama even though they’re all grown women. Plus, we get to catch a glimpse into the lavish lives of the one percent. The show is fun, the women are catty, and the cars are luxurious. The perfect wine to pair with this totally-not-scripted series is a crisp glass of Prosecco. You get all the feelings of being posh without spending a semester’s worth of college tuition. It’s a light, fruity, sparkling wine that tastes delicious. You also don’t need to spend much to enjoy this excellent varietal. Side note: who here is on the Potomac franchise train?

Queer Eye and Riesling

Queer Eye is my go-to show when I want a good cry. It’s encouraging and heartwarming, to say the least. Watching the Fab Five help deserving individuals take steps towards a more meaningful life is truly inspirational. Ugh, and they’re all so nice. Queer Eye strikes a perfect balance between light-hearted humor and complicated emotions. Riesling balances between sweet and acidic, making it an ideal wine pair for this reality show. A versatile show calls for a versatile wine. Riesling can be sweet or dry, sparkling or still, and cheap or expensive. It’s robust but doesn’t take itself too seriously, a mantra that the Queer Eye cast loves to preach.

The Bachelor and Pinot Noir

The two on ones, the first impression rose, the iconic opening lines. The Bachelor, love it or hate it, is jam-packed with drama from the jump. With each season claiming to be the “most dramatic season yet,” you’ll soon be left wondering if Jenna from New Jersey is really there for the right reasons. At the very least, The Bachelor leaves you with a good laugh each week. This is why a good Pinot Noir is perfect for the occasion. This light-skinned grape is fruit-forward and high in acid, making it the ideal wine for a romantic date night or a fun get together with your girlfriends. Just make sure you don’t make a drinking game out of it and take a sip every time a contestant cries.

90 Day Fiance and a Red Blend

If you’re really into watching extremely tumultuous relationships, 90 Day Fiance (and all of its superseding spin-offs) is the show to watch. Each storyline comes loaded with drama, and every couple that we follow is more explosive than the next. Honestly, before quarantine, I hadn’t even seen a full episode of this show, and now I can’t get enough. The audience is left wondering if these couples will last, whether or not their intentions are good, and who to believe. The only logical wine to sip on while diving into this chaotic show is an excellent Red Blend. It’s smooth, easy to drink, and uncomplicated, unlike anything on 90 Day Fiance. The reality show is all about the blending of two cultures, and drinking a red blend could be your way of supporting the action.

I could talk for hours on specifics of each of these shows. And I might have to do a part two of this topic. I haven't even touched on Catfish, Below Deck, or Marrying Millions.

Which reality show is your guiltiest pleasure? Let me know in the comments below, and I’ll give you a wine to pair with it!

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